This Broadcast Is Brought To You By The Letter 4.

So, it's been a few months since my last post.

My deepest apologies fans and readers of my blog. It's like i have nothing to write about anymore. And i guess that's not okay for a guy who's absolutely depressed at the moment and sees this as his only gateway to salvation and happiness.

What have i been up to? well, for the past few weeks, i've been working, going to church, and going to movies trying to better myself. I've been meeting new friends at my church for a bit now. I've got to say, I'm amused that someone that i haven't seen in 4 years flat still remembers me... How cool would that be? You run into a friend who you barely noticed for 4 years, but they know you in some bizarre way... How odd. Get a clue fools.

Anyways, i've also been thinking about why i hate this time of the year very much.... It's not the fact that spending time with family and friends(whenever i can) is the best feeling in the world. It's the fact that nearly 5 years ago, everything i ever loved was taken from me, and there's no possible way to ever get those moments back ever again.

So, every year during the holiday season, i cry myself to sleep every night because even though it's bad to look back on distant bad memories of my life, they are certain milestones of my life that I will never let go. And if you're thinking about commenting "Let It Go!" from Frozen, please execute yourself from this post please because even though you'd say that i've been through worse, you've got no absolute idea what i've been through in my life.

I guess listening to 80's Pop Radio isn't helping me get my emotions out quite well. But this year's been pretty hectic because of numerous things. Like for instance:

•       I finally bought my tickets to Star Wars: The Force Awakens but have nobody to see it with.
•       I'll be getting more hours and more days at work. 
•       I've been REALLY trying to find someone to take out on a date.... that is, if i ever do.
•       and the rest of my siblings might be moving out soon.... Which means i'll be the only one at my old man's house.

I just feel like i need to be alone in life for some reason. Even though Our Lord and Savior is watching over me, i feel like i need to never be in a relationship with anyone. I say this because i've always listened to "There's someone for everyone." and i've listened to that for 18+ years, i'm planning on losing all hope and i just need to find my center with God at the moment. If he helps me meet the girl of my dreams, i may have to reject it because the only fact that i can't let go of is that "I'll never be good enough." Sure, people may disagree with my theory on this one, but for a guy who works 2 - 3 days a week, who's an absolute dork inside and out, and works at a retail store with a bunch of females, it gets kind of lonely being one of the only guys who works at my store.

I'm just restless of the advice that others keep giving me. And honestly, this is better than sitting on a couch and eating a bucket of ice cream to eat your feelings away.

I guess this is all i have to write about at the moment.

I'll keep in touch guys and gals.