Dear Blog Diary....

Dear blog diary,

it has been a whole month and... poop, i don't know how many days it's been since i've wrote on here... anyways, who cares right?

so, all has been good. i recently got a new computer to write down my complete and utter thoughts on... YAY! no more stupid laptops to ruin my stupid night(i regret saying that). anyways, how has everyone been? i hope they've been good. time has brought me back here since i have nothing to do in my spare time... see? this is what happens when you're freaking busy everyday of your miserable pathetic life.... i'm not calling anyone here miserable.... just myself. now why would i be calling myself miserable? because i deserve it.

i've sat here reading peoples blogs through the past years, and it has brought me to the deepest part of my core.... and to be honest, i really am a miserable person. i ask for stuff, i do stuff, and i accomplish stuff worthy of doing, but everytime i try not to be miserable, i end up doing so without even realizing it. in fact, i don't think that this post is going to be that long... i'll try to make it as long as i can without doing anything stupid.

so, this girl who i haven't heard from in about a year finally comes from out of the dark. words can't express my feelings for her. she's one in a million people to ever be nice to me. she's kind, generous, probably the SWEETEST person anybody will ever meet, and my best friend. the only problem is... i don't know how to tell her... maybe she's reading this post. Hmm.... i don't know. i've recently told her things, and.... (takes about a 10 second pause) i really don't know what to say about that. i mean, i like her, she's my dork, but...... for some reason, i have the feeling that she may be a total backstabber... which is exactly what my ex was. as a matter of fact, tonight, i'm going to tell you the story of how i met my ex and why i broke up with her.

So, about 2 years ago, i go on this social networking app that i will not say the name of on this site because i don't want to look back at it later and have regrets about it later... and further more, i don't want ANYBODY making the same mistake i did. anyways, i meet this girl who was a complete ray of sunshine, a ray of hope and full of rainbows and fluffy kitties and such. she lived in a different state at the time, so it was a ldr(long distance relationship). we got to know eachother and every night, we'd tell eachother goodnight and give eachother kisses and hugs. it went on for a year before i found out that she was cheating on me with her best friend... this completely broke my heart. not to mention how much my feelings get hurt easily. so, back in august, i decided to break the whole thing off because by that time, she shut me out and wouldn't talk to me. how i did it was in the weirdest and yet selfish way ever. So, when i did it, i called her a hostes ho-ho(if anyone doesn't know what i'm talking about google a hostes ho ho) and she misunderstood it for a "ho". then she totally flipped the tables on me and told me that i was heartless and don't deserve anyone in my life because i was that mean..... honestly, i can be rude at sometimes, but i don't think i'm that bad....

like i said before, i'm miserable.... whoever disagrees with me can message me or whatever... like anyone does that anyways.

bye diary.
from, me.