Another step in life (part 1)

Dear blog diary,

I am now turning a new leaf! Yay for me!!!!! 

Using my pandora app shall help me right this tonight... That's right folks, apparently, I'm using my phone to write this blog tonight, so it might not be as long as all my other ones are. First off, I thought I was going to college. Turns out I'm not... Secondly, I'm going on a date tomorrow night... I'm so nervous because it's my first date in 21 years. Oh dear...... 

I'll let everyone know the results.

One Step Equals 1000 Lifetimes Episode I: The Page That Never Unfolded

Caption Reads: Behold, the untold drama of this young gentleman in his attempt to write something worth writing for. unfortunately for him, he doesn't know that his page is being watched over by fans and readers who don't even care to leave a comment, a like or follow this blog whatsoever. So, he guesses that this will have to make do for a bit.

Even so, this gentleman is about 21 years of age and has strong feelings for everyone in the world and in the galactic universe. So, with that in mind, if you could just leave him a comment or follow the blog, that would really make his day.... (Caption Ends)

good evening and welcome to tonight's post about stuff and etc. tonight, i'll try to make this as good as i can make it, so let me get started here....

First of all, the tornadoes this year are REALLY creeping me out... and not in a good way. you all may have a different opinion here, but in my perspective, it's kind of like going into a grocery store with having these things on your checklist:
        01. Eggs
        02. Milk
        03. Sausage
        04. Fruits and Veggies
        05. Cake Mix (say you had to bake a cake for a birthday or a celebration)
        06. Frosting
        07. Bacon
        08. Potatoes
        09. Soup
but as soon as you exit with all the things you think you have, you finally realize that you forgot the cake mix or the eggs. you also can't go in there anymore because your broke... It's kind of a big deal here.

secondly, summer is almost here, which means that i'll be working more hours.... i also will try to spend some time blogging as good as i can.... don't know what i can do without writing about... probably jump off a ledge or something.... NOT. like i said, i'll try my best to keep up with society and stuff. Apparently, listening to music kind of helps. lol...

thirdly, i have an interview tomorrow morning... YAY ME!!!!! i'm gonna try to be on my best behavior and will try to get this internship. wish me luck....

apparently, this wasn't long enough.... sorry folks.

nighty night.

Good Friday = Worst Friday EVER

so, i apparently seek some happiness since i'm forever alone in this world with nobody to comfort me, text me to cheer me up etc. apparently none of you are going to do it, so i thought i might as well make this post just for the fun of it, since posting isn't fun anyways.

being the kind of person that i am, i'd like to wish everyone a happy friday and so on and so forth. apparently, the reason why i'm so mopey today is because i had a quick argument with a classmate of mine... he apparently called me total butthole and said that i was selfish, which in my opinion, it's the truth. and apparently, listening to system of a down radio on pandora isn't quite helping me lose my pain. maybe if i change the radio, i'll feel a tad bit better.

it's not like that i'm changing the course of reality because of one stupid little thing. only one simple thing can make a difference and a change to your course of reality.

so, good friday was the day that our lord and savior has died for our sins. everyone is having a good friday, except me because everyone's busy doing things and going out while i'm stuck here rotting in my house every single weekend. apparently, i have the feeling that i need to find more youth groups and churches to go to because nobody at my old youth group tells me anything so it leaves me pretty much left out on everything that's going on in the group these days.... i think after my best friend's weeding is when everyone drifted apart and was like "oh, let's go and do this without this guy because i think that everything was going good until he came along." or "you know what guys, lets all turn our backs when he least expects it and get out of his life." according to what the kid said to me in class today, he's right.... i'm an inconciderate butthole. i don't even know how to respond to that kind of thing..... but as usual, i deny the comment.

what else is there to talk about? i don't even know anymore... i actually thought this was a good idea, but now i'm not so sure anymore. i'm just in a mind of isolation at the moment... i miss the good old days where i'd be a good person to everyone... whatever happened to that?

for some reason..... i feel........ empty.

Dear Blog Diary....

Dear blog diary,

it has been a whole month and... poop, i don't know how many days it's been since i've wrote on here... anyways, who cares right?

so, all has been good. i recently got a new computer to write down my complete and utter thoughts on... YAY! no more stupid laptops to ruin my stupid night(i regret saying that). anyways, how has everyone been? i hope they've been good. time has brought me back here since i have nothing to do in my spare time... see? this is what happens when you're freaking busy everyday of your miserable pathetic life.... i'm not calling anyone here miserable.... just myself. now why would i be calling myself miserable? because i deserve it.

i've sat here reading peoples blogs through the past years, and it has brought me to the deepest part of my core.... and to be honest, i really am a miserable person. i ask for stuff, i do stuff, and i accomplish stuff worthy of doing, but everytime i try not to be miserable, i end up doing so without even realizing it. in fact, i don't think that this post is going to be that long... i'll try to make it as long as i can without doing anything stupid.

so, this girl who i haven't heard from in about a year finally comes from out of the dark. words can't express my feelings for her. she's one in a million people to ever be nice to me. she's kind, generous, probably the SWEETEST person anybody will ever meet, and my best friend. the only problem is... i don't know how to tell her... maybe she's reading this post. Hmm.... i don't know. i've recently told her things, and.... (takes about a 10 second pause) i really don't know what to say about that. i mean, i like her, she's my dork, but...... for some reason, i have the feeling that she may be a total backstabber... which is exactly what my ex was. as a matter of fact, tonight, i'm going to tell you the story of how i met my ex and why i broke up with her.

So, about 2 years ago, i go on this social networking app that i will not say the name of on this site because i don't want to look back at it later and have regrets about it later... and further more, i don't want ANYBODY making the same mistake i did. anyways, i meet this girl who was a complete ray of sunshine, a ray of hope and full of rainbows and fluffy kitties and such. she lived in a different state at the time, so it was a ldr(long distance relationship). we got to know eachother and every night, we'd tell eachother goodnight and give eachother kisses and hugs. it went on for a year before i found out that she was cheating on me with her best friend... this completely broke my heart. not to mention how much my feelings get hurt easily. so, back in august, i decided to break the whole thing off because by that time, she shut me out and wouldn't talk to me. how i did it was in the weirdest and yet selfish way ever. So, when i did it, i called her a hostes ho-ho(if anyone doesn't know what i'm talking about google a hostes ho ho) and she misunderstood it for a "ho". then she totally flipped the tables on me and told me that i was heartless and don't deserve anyone in my life because i was that mean..... honestly, i can be rude at sometimes, but i don't think i'm that bad....

like i said before, i'm miserable.... whoever disagrees with me can message me or whatever... like anyone does that anyways.

bye diary.
from, me.

Attention

Apparently, there was a mistake. this website is NOT being moved to a different website. Keep reading this blog as if that site never even happened.

THIS PAGE HAS MOVED ITS HINDQUARTERS AND LEFT.

Apparently, This Site WILL Be Leaving.... But This Site WILL Be Coming Back.

Sorry Folks

Hopelessness.

So, i know i said i'd keep updating, but i've been really busy lately. anyways, i've been under the weather lately. The reason why is because i have a very low self confidence in myself when it comes to being alone with nobody to talk to.

Unfortunately, i'm a victim of the social networking world and i needed a break from everything, so i thought i'd come here and write another selfish blog that nobody cares about reading anymore. i can't keep forgetting about this blog like this. i promised myself that i'd write this blog thing. so, why not start now right? shut your trap mind.

Oh, and also, i will be writing a blog on February 14th, 2014, otherwise known on valentines day(or single awareness day as we singles like to call it). With that being said, i was about to become single for the 21st year in a row for single awareness day.. until the love of my life stepped in and agreed to be mine this year. Today marks the official day i haven't been alone on valentines day. My teacher also told me and a few other class mates that she's going to make us valentines this year... i don't know if i should respond by throwing it away or accepting it at all. i don't know what i'm going to do with my life as soon as graphic design ends..... all i hope and pray is that i won't be living in the street asking for spare change at all.

Even i can't debate on terms like these. apparently, i'm listening to sappy love songs that i hope will calm my pain down, but how's that supposed to happen when all i can think of are the endless nights i spend alone in bed crying every night wishing for a new tomorrow which i know will never come.

i'm gonna keep this short for now because i don't have a lot of time. so, where do i end from here?? ah, like i always do.

Goodbye readers,
joshua

more than 100 samples can't solve a difference....

So, i know, i'm updating like crazy since i'm trying to keep my promises. I have been super busy with life lately.

I have a bunch of pre-recorded orchestral samples and am looking for a way to make those samples sound like a symphony orchestra. I know it sounds like it's not a big deal, but to me who loves music, it is. one of my accomplishments is to become a composer like everyone else who made it. Hans Zimmer, Lorne Balfe, James Newton Howard, Danny Elfman, James Horner, and all those other beautiful people who're composers. i'm still waiting for an answer to this, so wish me luck everyone.

So, what have i been up to since then? I've been working, i've been busy..... Not to mention, i have graphic design class, which is barely fun anymore... but hopefully that changes. My teacher's saying that there'll be a new student coming to class this semester.... and the good news about it, my teacher's not going to be the only female there anymore. That's right, my class is run by stupid, ignorant, and jerk-ish men. I really don't understand why it had to be these people. Why couldn't it have been a better class? We've got a football player who's caught in drugs most of the time, 2 kids who're obsessed with My Little Pony, and a kid who's a fan of Pokemon(like me[i don't like that new stuff}). In my opinion, i couldn't have a better class...... NOT! let's just say, i'm in a nutshell.

anyways, my job has gotten a little slower since christmas ended. basically meaning, my hours have slowed down and i sometimes take night shifts. I honestly love my job, and i really hope i don't lose it like the last job i had. the last job i had was at a warehouse. we filled boxes of candy, and sent them out to stores like Albertsons, or King Soopers, or Safeway.... sometimes, i hated that job.

the other reason why i'm doing this is because apparently, i have nothing better to do. i wish people on Facebook would talk to me, but everybody's so busy with life. all i ever try to do is make contact with people, and they shut me off like i'm a light switch. for instance, this afternoon i was talking to someone who i BARELY met, and talk to them about looking for a job for them. they live in littleton, and won't look for anything farther than that. anyways, so i tell them i'll look and the next thing i ask is "if i may ask, how's your day?" and the next thing i know, i'm chopped liver. sometimes, people make me cry by what they say or what they do. depending on what their reaction is to everything. in my opinion, i'm just not a good person. if there's anyone who disagrees with me, comment..... wait a minute, why would anyone comment anyways? i ask people to comment or at least follow this blog. But i don't even think anyone cares about this stupid blog... It reminds me of high school..... why write something that won't be graded, won't be viewed, but nobody cares about.... this is a total disgrace just even looking at the pageviews.... like i said, why write something when nobody's going to care about it anyways. excuse me, i have to go crawl in a ditch and hide for a few weeks because i just have one simple task, and nobody listens.

So, i'm not gonna hide in a hole because i know that people would miss me, they just don't show it. if only people would just show it once in a while, i think i'd be a lot happier besides living the wonderful life i already live. and for the record, sometimes when i'm laying in bed, i consider myself lonely because i have nobody to hug or cuddle with at night.... i'm always given the cold shoulder.

so, i end this by saying goodnight, comm..... in fact, DONT COMMENT.
from the blog creator, Jay

Update.

sorry i haven't been updating on this blog very often as i said i could. I've actually been busy with work and etc.

first, this isn't going to be very long, so i'll just make it short and sweet and to the point. Also, i'm deciding to do this while i wait for something i can email to my brother. so, first of all, i've asked people if they can follow this blog and get more pageviews and at least comment, and none of the above has happened except for the pageviews.... this is honestly disappointing. :(

next, besides waiting for files and writing this blog, i have spent the whole day in bed. not because i was sick or didn't want to wake up today, but it was because me and the girl i'm falling for decided to spend the whole day in bed and do absolutely nothing but cuddle and sleep, which was a very good plan. there's nothing i love more than spending the day in bed and admiring the woman whose got the same eye color as me, who has the most beautiful face i can ever fall for, and will always know what to do to make my day. whenever she's baking cookies or taking a shower or being at school, she always knows that i am always going to be there by her side. not only will i be by her side, but i'll hold her hand to guide her through all of the obstacles that shall come our way. and once those obstacles come, i'm very positive we're going to make it through those obstacles together. even if the obstacles means that i would walk 1000 miles just to see her beautiful smiling face waiting for me.

she always will know what to do to make my day worth while. Since i wasn't able to do a friday post, i thought i'd be able to do it tonight. So, i bring you the girl who i'm falling for. Who knows that my favorite color is orange, and who's just too beautiful to be true.

she's always going to be the happiness of my dreams,
the sunlight of my sky,
the marshmallow of my rainbow,
and the lucky of my charms.

Miss you much boobear.





and now, i bid you all goodbye and a farewell and a adieu.
goodnight, like, follow, comment, view the page.

Birthdays, Sandwiches, Free Smoothies and A Special Someone

So, a new page is upon us and a new chapter has unfolded in this blog. So, before I get started blogging, there are a few topics on this blog I'm actually willing to share in tonight's post. The date is January 15th and blue skies are in the air. So, let's begin.. Oh, before i continue, if you haven't gone to the bathroom right now, please do so, hold it in, or highlight the position you're at and continue when you come back so that way you don't loose track of your position. Ok..... Here we go.....

it's 5:30 in the morning and my day usually starts off as it normally does. I have 3 alarms that are set for 5:30, 5:45 and 6:00 total... So, as soon as the first alarm went off, I waited for the next alarm to go off. The next one blurts out, and I let it pass. I didn't wake up until 5:54, so I guess that's a good thing i guess. Next, I start off with some cereal, Fruity Pebbles to be exact, and get ready for work. I head into work and am assigned cleaning duty this time. So, I do what I am told and don't get done until 11:30-ish. Usually, when i work, i don't get off until 11:45 or 12:00-ish, but today wasn't a real busy day as i planned it to be... So... yay for me i guess. haha.

I leave to get some lunch, and while I'm headed out the door, there's a nice old lady that stops my path and asks "Excuse me sir, would you be willing to try a free smoothie sample?". Now, as soon as i hear those last 3 words, my heart stopped for a mere second and jump started itself back up. Of course, i had to respond to this woman, so i simply replied by saying, "is this the first time this has ever happened?" She luckily smiled and replied "No. we do this every Wednesday. every Wednesday, we go to different locations and offer smoothie samples to our wonderful customers." However, i smiled and said back to her "Well.... what flavor are they?" She described them as "Pineapple" and "Blueberry Pomegranate" and so, i made my decision to take a small cup of pineapple. As i was walking to the bus, which i consider a delightful trip when i have my headphones in, I tasted my very first pineapple smoothie. I was very amused with the results. and in shock of the results, i screamed at the top of my lungs "FREE SMOOTHIE SAMPLE!!!!! AHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" So, i got to class as I usually do and took the first half of my final which i shall finish tomorrow and that was basically the highlight of the first half of my day.

 (the wonderful pineapple smoothie and my wonderful anonymous hand).












 Have you read the first story? if you did, you should remember that it's January 15th which also happens to be my sisters birthday. So, when i woke up this morning, and ate my cereal, brushed my teeth and all that jazz, i went to bedroom very quietly and stood next to her bed for about 20 to 30 seconds. and as soon as those seconds passed, i simply crouched down very quietly, put my hands on my sister's arm very softly so she wouldn't wake up, and simply did as i always did whenever i would say my sisters name...... "ANNA!!!!" i screamed as i shook her side to side. "A-NUH!!!!!!" She gets up in exhaust and goes "what?" so i simply go "it's time for you to get up!!!!!!!" So, i leave the house to go to work, and i find out that Einsteins Bagels are giving out free thintastic bagels today. so i call my sister and say, as i always do "ANNA!!!!!" she asks what i need and I say "aren't you going to Einstein''s?" and she simply replies "No, you know i don't have a car right now.!" Oh, before i forget, let me just say now that it's not that my sister doesn't literally have a car, somethings just wrong with some stuff and it's not turning on at all. So, as soon as i get home from school, we leave to go to the wonderful place of "Color Me Mine". for those of you who don't know what that is, it's a place where you get to choose from the items on their shelves and paint them whatever way you want to paint them. So, as i'm sitting there debating what i should choose for my mug, i remembered that i made a watermelon last year. so i go back to doing fruit like i did the year before. i don't know if anybody has officially made this yet, so I've decided to make the VERY first grapefruit cup. and i made a new thing that whenever i go there and make something, i'm going to color them like fruit and give them names. the watermelon is named walter and now the grapecup is named greg. after that, i dined at the famous which wich in southlands. which wich is a sandwich place.

(Greg the grapecup)










now, one of the other topics i'm going to talk about is... you've guessed it, the certain someone. For 20 and 7/8 years, i've been searching for that special someone to call my own, to call me lovebug, to call me all these cute names, follow my instagram, friend me on facebook and etc. well, all you wonderful readers who're sitting at home either on your lazy buts watching tv or wasting your life away by getting fat on some sort of stupid snack, the day has finally come. the only things i know about her are that her favorite color is purple, she's a child at heart, she sings she loves music about as much as i do, she works at KFC and is probably the same height as me, i'm not quite sure about that one yet. Anyways, i've known this girl for about a few weeks finally got the guts to know about her. The last person i was with...... forget it, that's going to be on a different day and a different story. anyways, she loves food, and most of all, being random and very adorable. Well cupid, you've finally struck me. and this time, you've made a direct hit. she's wonderful, she's amazing, she's amazingly gorgeous, and she's just what i'm looking for. in my life, she will always be known as my little lovebug, my boobear and the one who i will hold nearest and dearest to my heart besides my best friends. one day, i plan to take her out on a date. probably the usual picnic or dinner and then a movie. Or cuddling sounds nice too. not quite sure yet. don't you judge me.

And now, here comes the moment you've all been waiting for.... yes, here's the part of the day where i usually say my goodbyes for my posts, otherwise known as the part where people are usually grateful they don't have to listen or read this crap for the next 24 hours. come on guys, you guys aren't fair. all i ask is that i get some followers and comments on these as soon as possible. that'll really make me a happy butterfly. seriously, follow this blog or favorite it, and post some comments if you please!!!!!

from, the blog creator, Jay

Untitled at the moment.....

the only reason why i wrote untitled at the moment for the title was because i couldn't think of a title at the moment.

So, since i just started doing this blogging thing, i might as well write one before i go to bed tonight.

have you ever seen people on the street or the side of the road holding those signs, wanting change for something that's completely anonymous to the public until they read that sign and say "Hmm... i wish our government wasn't that cruel." or "Hmm.... should I give him some change?". Well, I've seen my fair share of those people right now. Our government is so wrapped up in all our little issues that we don't know about and are trying to figure out ways to solve these problems we have in the world today. I believe a few years ago, when I was visiting my uncle and aunt in Wisconsin, which in my opinion is one of my least favorite states at the moment(it wasn't as bad as Kansas, but that story will come another day.), and there was a news report with all these congress men sitting at a table having a meeting about moving our troops, let me say that again just so everyone is clear, OUR TROOPS over to Guam. Before i continue, let me just say now that you need to remember that our troops come to nearly 5,000 U.S. marines. Now, as i was saying, they were saying this in an effort to break a stalemate with Japan. I do not know what city in Japan, I just know it's in Japan. Now, some blockhead is sitting there saying that if they moved our troops over to Guam, then it would cause a major problem... Let me rephrase, in this decision to do it, then the cause of the troops would cause the island to tip over and cause a malfunction on that lovely island.

Now, as my aunt and I are listening to this story, I'm thinking "Are you out of your freaking mind?" I think we need more troops over there, but not that freaking many troops that'll cause Guam to tip over you dumbass. If you want to read more on my complaint on this whole story, which I'm not bull spitting about, you can google it like i just did.

Now, I consider myself a nice guy. That doesn't mean I can be a jerk once in a while, all I'm saying is that I'm a nice guy and am loving the position I'm in right now. I have people who're supporting me in my plans to make something out of myself, I'm head over heals for this girl, even though I haven't met her yet(hopefully she's feeling the same way[I'm still praying and keeping my fingers crossed]) and am in the middle of reading the last of the Hunger Games: Mockingjay book by Suzanne Collins and plan to finish it before the last movies come out. Who would've thought that I can read something like that right? I mean, come on, I've read Twilight and have to admit that those were the WORST books I've ever read and will never get the time back unless I figured out how to time travel and stop myself from reading those books. If that happened, I'd probably be better off.

Now, a friend of mine has just recently said that her phone screen has seized to work, which basically means that the phone has passed away. I'm praying for the best of luck for her. I've messaged her and she tells me she's pooped for today. So i tell her, that since she's my sunshine, I'll send her some love... and so, I did. Am I not that generous? So, hopefully my dearest sunshine Tabbi can hopefully get a new phone as soon as she gets the money she needs to either get one or replace it with the warranty insurance. I send you the best of wishes Tabbi, don't you ever forget that.... She's probably reading this right now thinking to herself "Thank you! :)" and if she is, you're very welcome Tabbi. Just remember that I'm always here for you and to listen. That goes to everyone of you, if you have any questions, problems or concerns, please make sure to comment or email me. Don't be afraid to do so.

So, I'd like to say thank you to everyone who maybe reading this right now or will be doing it in the near future. I'll be back tomorrow for the next blog... And I will definitely have a title for the next blog, I pinky swear!

from, the blog creator, Jay

Welcome to 2014

So, it's the new year and much is ahead.

First of all, let me just say that for this blog, I will not write everything like a song lyric because certain people have told me that it's a waste of my freaking time, or that I don't understand what you're talking about..... but that's beyond the freaking point.

Second off, since it's the new year, I've decided that I'm going to start blogging now. Do not judge me or try to bring me down with all these negative comments on this blog. This blog will be open publicly and won't be closed unless i have to send out invites to friends to let them read it. like i said before, DO NOT MAKE THE WHOLE SHUTTING DOWN THING HAPPEN!

now, to begin. I'm a 20 year old man and have had my ways in life change and do what so ever. I have friends, and just recently had a friend celebrate her 5 year anniversary out of chemotherapy. So, congratulations Tiffany. You deserve the best that the lord can give you. Anyways, I'm christian and I love the lord, even though he can let certain things happen. He's the best person there can be. He's helped me found the sunshine in my life through all these years. And, I'm grateful for everything he's given to me. A home, a family, a brother, a sister, friends, my best friends Jake, Shelby, Hayley, and Taylor.

I'm going to do my best to update everything that's going on in my life. I promise, I'm not gonna stop and freaking quit everything because I'm too damn busy with my job or class or something else came up. I actually mean that I will and shall update whenever I can.

So, on further note, I'd like to state that I'm a huge music fan, like I said before, I am christian, I'm a very gifted singer, I'm about 5'3 short(i know, I'm not that tall), i work retail at the best job in the world and haven't gotten any complaints yet, I plan on going to college sometime in the fall soon, I plan to accomplish acting, singing, animation, directing, screen writing, music composition, and producer, and just so all of you are clear, I was at the Century 16 shooting, and trust me, i don't wanna remember that memory. So, if you can at least not ask me "Did you see what he looked like?", then we'll be okay. The only information I'm able to give out is that I was NOT in the same theater number, and i almost broke my leg getting out of there.

As for school purposes, i am a graphic designer, and also plan to create album covers in the near future. I'm really good at that at the moment. I also do photography, I'm only a beginner, shut up. If you'd like to know more, send me comments on everything you'd like to know. I'm always open to listen to whatever people have to say and am here to solve any problems anyone may have.

I'd like to say thank you to everyone who is very important to me in my life. For instance, when i was in middle school, I knew this one girl who turned my life around. She was the sunshine of my life and always will be my best friend to me. She may not think the same thing with me, but I've been head over heals for this girl for a while..... but those feelings have changed. Now, you're wondering why those feelings have changed, it's because I've found someone else, and yes, I'm head over heals for her. I met her on this dating app, and will hopefully soon meet this beautiful angel who's finally walked into my life.

Now, I take it that people without emails can't comment. If you're wanting to comment because you have questions, then get yourself a blogger account and do whatever you can. However, if i find out that one of the followers have created a blog because I've inspired them to create a blog, I'll email you and say "You do whatever you'd like. I'm not gonna stop you. :)". But, if i find out that the blog you've created has the same title, same post titles, same EXACT words, etc., I'm going to write you and ask if you can please stop taking everything from my blog. Everything has been copyrighted now.

wish me luck with the blogging everyone. :)
from, the blog creator, Jay Schweetz